Who would have thought that water could get you into trouble?
Well, the people of Japan know that it can. Anyone who has swum too far from the shore knows that it can. Those who have ventured into the deep end of the pool, before learning how to swim, know that it can. My nephew, Hayden, now knows that it can.
My family and I were eating at a Chinese buffet (one of my favorite things to do), when Hayden became parched, asking for strawberry-flavored water.
- SIDE NOTE: Ever heard of flavoring your water? Apparently, water itself is not good enough for us these days, so we have to add something to it to make it “better”.
Well, Hayden wanted “better” water. And Hayden wanted “better” water – NOW! That is because Hayden is three and not very patient. He’s working on that. In fact, we’re all still working on that.
Hayden likes water. Hayden likes strawberries more than water, so he asked for his water to taste a bit more like a strawberry. Then, he waited…patiently, I might add. He received strawberry-flavored water, and then assumed (We all know where this is leading.) that the water he received did not have strawberry drops in it, because it had ice in it. Logical, right? To a kid, maybe. But he assumed incorrectly…and impatiently, I might add.
THE FACTS: My sister had poured water from her glass into Hayden’s sippy cup. Water which had ice in it. Then, she added the strawberry-flavored drops before giving the sippy cup back to him.
Sadly, Hayden assumed that all water with ice in it had no strawberry flavor. Why? You might ask. BECAUSE MOMMA DIDN’T RAISE NO FOOL! Hayden could see all of the adult glasses with clear water and ice in them…clearly.
So, Hayden nicely asked, “Momma, did you put strawberry-flavored drops into my water as I requested?” OF COURSE HE DIDN’T! He got a ‘tude with Mom and started growling at her, “No! NO! Me not like that!” (before even tasting the water, because he felt and heard the ice move around in his sippy cup). Momma sternly reminded him of his responsibility to act nicely, even when things weren’t going his way, telling him all the while that the strawberry-flavored drops were in his water. RESPONSE: Grumble, growl, objection, raised voice, loudly repeated phrase – “ME NOT LIKE THAT!”
Now, Hayden was causing a scene. And, I believe it is Rule #393 in The Mother’s Handbook of Awareness, which reads: ELIMINATE THE SCENE IMMEDIATELY AND BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY! In this case – The Case of Utter Defiance, that means a spanking, which is in God’s Handbook of Awareness, commonly called The Holy Bible [Proverbs 23:13 – “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.”].
And that’s exactly what my sister did:
- She took him into a private area (careful not to embarrass him),
- She waited until she was calm from being disobeyed (no retaliation or anger), and
- She spanked him with The Rod™.*
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- Because she loves him. [Proverbs 13:24 – “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”]
- And she’s trying to correct his future actions.
When Hayden came back from his spanking and with a very different demeanor than when he left, he promptly proclaimed with all sincerity, “Me sorry me do that…Not nice. Mean. [all the while, shaking his head and with a look of self-disgust on his face] Me get spanking. Me sorry me do that.”
We were quick to forgive him, because, truthfully, we’ve all behaved badly; and, if we’re honest with ourselves, we would freely admit that we could use a good spanking to correct our actions, too.
SIMPLY STATED:
- Things aren’t always going to go my way, and I will be tempted to throw a temper tantrum…I WILL NOT.
- There will be times that I think I know the situation before ever looking at the facts, and I will be tempted to assume what I shouldn’t…I WILL NOT.
- Some circumstances will wear me down, and I will be tempted to be impatient with others…I WILL NOT.
- When my behavior becomes unacceptable, those who care for me will try to correct me, and I will be tempted to ignore them…I WILL NOT.
- When I am corrected, I will be tempted to harbor resentment or bitterness toward those helping me…I WILL NOT.
- When I injure others, I will be tempted to neglect apologizing and repairing the offense…I WILL NOT.
- When I am asked by God to forgive others, I will be tempted to hold a grudge…I WILL NOT.
YOUR THOUGHTS:
- If we were frequently and lovingly corrected as adults, would we behave any better than we do right now?
*WARNING – THE FOLLOWING IS A SHAMELESS PLUG: We make and sell The Rod™ on eBay (honestymarketing). If you’re interested in purchasing one, click HERE.
dp in cinci 
My daughter is three, and this is a very difficult age! Impatience? Yes, all the time. We don’t spank her, but that’s our choice. Either way, somebody tell me four is when everything turns around. Right? Right..?
Honestly, there are too many variables to form an accurate conclusion.
To name a few:
– The environment of the home (what morals are taught, where value is placed, what priorities have been set) bears on the development of the child.
– The makeup of the home (who is there to influence the child: husband & wife, single mother, stay-at-home dad, etc.) does also.
– How authority is established in the home, taught, modeled and maintained has a direct effect on the response of the child.
– However, the main variable is the personality of each child. They are all very different! Some kids are strong-willed, others are mild-mannered, while still others are downright backward about their view of and interaction with authority.
My advice: Consistently show her love and boundaries. Eventually, she will overcome this attitude of unbelief (That’s what impatience is at its core.) and will shine on the other side of it, but there’s no tellin’ HOW LONG that will take. May God bless you in the journey, though. 🙂
P.S. My wife says that four was a very difficult age for at least two of our kiddos, but five or six was when we were out of the major woods on this issue. I hope that is a small bit of encouragement to you.
For the record, I also helped Hayden prayerfully confess his sins of selfishness and disrespect to the One he ultimately disobeyed more than I after spanking him, because it is infinitely more important to me (and his father) that each of our 4 children grow up understanding that we are not simply aiming to control their behavior for our benefit/pleasure/comfort but to teach them to follow the commands of our Heavenly Father and to submit to His sometimes difficult plan for us without demonstrating our displeasure that He’s not doing things “our” way. 😉
It is also important to note that Hayden Paul brings us untold joy & entertainment as day after day, he reminds us just how aptly he was named. His ability to quickly shift back & forth from “antics” to immeasurable charm is uncannily reminiscent of his namesake, Uncle Damon Paul. 😉 We love & miss you, buddy!!!